Just not too long ago…

The part of my life that was once so dark which happened not too long ago. It was so dear to me but is slowly fading off. it was what changed my life completely around. i had everything i ever needed. A solution to all of my problems. The amount of things i did to lose myself from reality. Everyday i look in the mirror and asked what am i doing to myself? is it all worthy? the part of my life which was so dark i couldn’t even give myself a logical reason for my actions.

The thought of being at that particular place getting myself fix is just darn right scary. It just went too extreme. I felt like there was no point to life.Only the part of getting myself fix just seems all worthy. But lucky i was able to pull myself out from all the things which was messing up my life. But mainly the though of  my life is not worthy.  But now life back to normal, It just happened so fast and i can still remember it clearly..

9 things you probably don’t know about

1) i have an english name which not many people know about

2) i listen to many kind of music. Just name it. Also i have many favourite band. But ‘ The Used” is always my first

3) i love caps. mainly phat caps. Based on surfing, baseball , skateboarding.

4) i love extreme sports. BMX , skateboard. If only i had the money to buy all of  them =.=

5) cooking is my passion. The part of eating good food is even more awesome. i love how fine food are made and taste. I won’t really bother for crappy food. am just eating it for survival and fine food to enjoy to experience and to feel that initial shock.

6) i love art. No matter its coming from colours, pictures, shape, structure. Almost anything but not everything

7) i can’t freaking read or write mandarin chinese. Even worse can’t speak. i only know a few words from living too long in the chinese society. But guess what i can speak not so fluent cantonese. =)

8 ) Sometime i do crazy things . Which always turn my life into an adventure which i  never really much expect.

9) i am bad at relationship and better as a friend. That why i need a smart and understanding companion =.=”

Past

Everyone loves the past. Where it was all comfortable , fun and everything nice =P well we can’t go back to the past it just don’t work that way. No matter how beautiful it might be. If i had a chance to go back to the past i would have change my life around. i would have done so many thing for myself, take back all my wrong doing and laugh more often. i can certainly make a whole list out of it. C”mon we all love the past don’t we ? because it was what made us today,who we choose to live with, who we chose to trust. But it is never a good thing to dwell too much in the past. It is better if we stay in the present and create more beautiful moments as life is always about moving forward. and so what if i have an unforgettable love, Regrets or Dreams which were never fulfilled? No doubts that i am living the best way i can. True?  Life is simple  you make choices and you don’t look back

Perfect

You see there is nothing perfect in this world. The word perfect don’t really exist it is really just human believes.  No matter how good the things you own, you do or have it always can be better. Just like love it is never perfect but you just have to make the most out of  it. Even i have been into broken relationships, got cheated, got left hanging and  love was just never perfect. If i get the chance to go back to the past. i would run as fast as i can and start skate boarding earlier of course =) I don’t really see the point into having a relationship any more if it is not somebody you truly like. Like how one of my friend said. Go simply couple la then screw your life up. that is somehow true though. Same goes for people who goes for money, looks and everything materialistic. I think looks just goes out the window once you get older. I would rather go for somebody who enjoy my company, practice good character and maybe dress well will do the job. I won’t say going for a loaded or  good looking people is all that bad. is just my point of view and i think these qualities should come second. So, i don’t think the love of my life is here or coming any time soon so i will just be living in my own world and not letting anybody take that for me. What am i talking about? crap

 

By the way this is a very nice song. I heard it during high  school and still remember the lyrics so clearly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD1cxSE25ck

Hope you enjoy it =) chao

Late Morning

Ok, so today was an awkward day. I didn’t  plan anything for the day so it planned me.  So i promised to meet up with my friend at 7 am today because he wanted to buy a dumb ass black berry phone that cost a bomb. its on promotion of course.. My friend and his classmate skipped class, we drank at Library the curve. Was high,Joking around in the mall and hung out. Finally tried the ikea meatball. well is was ok  nothing to shout about. To cut it short today was an epic and tiring day. Kinda lazy to blog today. I am a lil tired and its a long story HAHA. sorreehh

American Born Chinese

ABC, Banana, American chinese are terms which people called those chinese people who don’t know mandarin or have any clue about chinese stuff. Well actually i don’t really mind if i get labelled that because i am proud to be a banana. if i was sent to a chinese school i wouldn’t be the same person today. i won’t be listening to english songs.That what my mom told me. i never had an understanding about typical chinese people anyway or even their language. i still remember going to a chinese class back in pre school i failed for the whole damn year getting all 0 for my exam paper.  The only part i suffered from all of this was being a social outcast that typical chinese people not wanting to be friend with me. It was hard back then for an american boy trying to make friends in chinatown with full of chinese people. But who gives a shit now. i always tell myself and still do that if i ain’t good enough for you and you don’t want to talk to me, fine fuck off.

In the train

Ok, so today when i was heading back home in the LRT. i saw my long lost buddy after 4 years.Damn happy. 4 fucking years he still didn’t change 1 bit or maybe he grew a lil taller. we kinda lost contact after we left high school. that dude is always epic to me. when we head to class in the morning he can tell me all his fantasies and stories until the end of class that is also because i was sitting next to him.i was always a good listener =)  i don’t know why i always get the weird concoction of friends. when i was in high school me , a eurasian and a punjadi  always hung out together and just talk about anything. Ok fine maybe i am lil different from the other kids.  i must say i learned about hip-hop fashion, music and girls mostly from them also hehehe.

The Sunshine

Oh, how i miss going to the park in the evening, getting my arms suntan and just keep repeating the same old mistakes till i get the trick right, sweating like nobody business….argh now i hardly even have time to go to the park and see my friends. =(

The life i chose

Well, i just got back from work about an hour ago.Feeling a lil tired. =) my working a like one of the weirdest place to work at for now. Pastry kitchen. I went in with no interest of pastry as i worked. i developed a lil interest for pastry. Thinking about it is quite awesome.But still i don’t like it that much ok. so the weird thing about the working place is that the morning shift have to work like hell, meaning unimaginable hours. people there are a lil crazy from the long hours. always stressed, uneasy and lack of sleep. well i wouldn’t really blame as that is normal for a hotelier. They can work from morning till late night without even seeing sunlight. But for me i not into long hours i am more to working hard and showing progress then go home sleep or have my own time rather then being a slave to your work. As this week my shift is afternoon shift whereby is a whole new different thing compared to the morning shift. you only work 8 hours a day, do less work and it is less noisy. the part i really don’t understand is the huge differences between the hours and the work load. Morning shift people have to suffer and the afternoon shifts people just chill out,get more time for them self and more sleep. =.= well enough about work

 

anyway i just want to write about my relationship status. i think i made up my mind. that maybe somethings are worth the wait. I am happy with being single now. Free from chains. LOL. I’ll let people choose on their own whether they want to be in my life or not. i am still gonna move on. Awesome?

 

Chao

Random

Am i really a screwed up kid ? till nobody believes that i started  going to church? the rate is about 10/10 don’t believe i am attending!?! Even my parents got a shock that i go to church and now still in question.damn. well i should really get going. my holiday are about to end in another 2 hours. Urghhh