The road taken

27 Nov

Haylo, its been long since i last visit my blog. cause nowadays i seldom on the pc whereby the ipad is much more convenient compared to starting the pc and waiting for a billion hours to start. So yeah. i have found a new obsess for shoes. i can be really picky for shoes just like a girl or maybe worse. i can stand there looking at it for 2 hours and still not buy any. cause there is just so many. and many pattern which im interested in. so beautiful. Just like how i choose girls. it must fit you right. have the right colour and pattern. oh how i yearn for shoes.

Enough about shoes. my course it getting a lil tougher because we have to run a restaurant by our own. lazy to talk about it la. cause i am still thinking what to do after this course ends. To continue study or go work. its really frustrating. seriously.

So again and again i will say love life is being a bitch again. i also got used to it already. so no point being emo and shit. sometime i even had the thought that being single is not that bad after all. Last time when i was with my ex i felt like gawd pls have mercy. its like a chain been put to my legs. i msg her every fucking day. and there was this record in my phone i reached 16,000 sms in 3-4 month. i was so hook to it. everywhere i go msg kept coming. really. now  i don’t have restrictions from girlfriend, can party hard, can go wherever i want with who i choose to go out with, spend my money on awesome stuff i like. if i had a girlfriend i probably wouldn’t have much time for friends. and have to call or text her to ask how is she doing and shit. while all the time she is just doing fine. unless she have less air to breathe. So that my point. i know its not necessary to be clingy and shit. but that was that. it was a long time ago anyway. maybe its different now.

So i actually like a friend. although we never really had much memories together accept the part in langkawi. where i had my third training. probably most of our memories were there. didn’t really share much when we were back in KL though. hi, bye kinda thing. There was also this song ” all the right moves” by one republic i used to listened to when i was there also by the time she left the island.(for your info she is a senior so she finish her training earlier than mine) is like i got some of memory stuck on my head for that particular song when she left. To say the least i really miss her that time. To cut it short now she just finished her degree and heading to Macau for work purposes. And that exact same song played in my car from the old cd i had. made me realize how much i missed on hanging with her. is like one of those stupid quote where they say u never really know how much someone meant to you until she is gone.i been thinking lately.why does she amaze me even though there were other girls i could find and whats the big deal she left  anyway, its not like we had anything before. and she is a Chinese educated girl which is not really my kinda thing. But for some reason it makes me forget about the expectations i was looking for in a girl which i am searching for like who gives a shit anymore for bitches. she is one person who remembered my dreams that i stupidly shared with her. who else ever said that to me? so many things are running through my head sometimes. Another though for another day. So much for now. Chao

Warmness on the soul

9 Nov

It’s been long since i really blog about my life. So i have a lot of stories to tell. Like how much i love the sun. HAHA. is just that the sun gives me a sense of warm like how you hug someone close to you and you can feel his/her body heat so warm and comfortable. I am being crazy.
I still remember how i started my kitchen life. when it was so hard back then, it was also my first. The whole kitchen crew was being a bitch.
So one day i took a day off from being sick and had the evening to myself where the sun felt so bright and warm.
i really felt happy even in the midst of problems. As i never really saw daylight in weeks from working in the kitchen =/
So it was a blessing to me.

Back to my life, Guess what happen the other day. My parents decided to head back hometown last weekend for someone wedding dinner.
And i had to be a little devil and called my friends over for a drinking session at my place.
So two of my friend came over about 11 o clock. As usual we were enjoying ourselves watching t.v. Like one of those guys night. Until 5 o clock in the morning when i looked at the gate. My parents came back. we were like WTF!! we quickly cleared everything.
If you didn’t know we were freaking drunk by then cause we had the whole carton to ourselves and it was almost finish. we rushed up to my room like a secret hide out. When my parents head to bed.
i plan to sneak them out through the back door. BAD idea.
Once i opened the door the alarm was on. i rush up and told my parents i just wanted to take some water and the alarm switched on.hehe swt =.= then i rushed them out quickly through the back door. phew.
next morning my mom ask me why didn’t ask your friends to stay longer. No need to scare. =.=
welcome to my world


Right or wrong?

3 Nov

Ever met someone in your life that always love to be right just about anything? i know i did. Every time they tell,talk or even condemn somebody they love to be right about it. cause it feels good. some might even think they are winners for doing so. It give you the feeling of being on top of others.People who are crack for position.  But what is actually so good about being right all the time if it is just hurting someone for what they care about?

Like me i am different i like to stay in the middle. I don’t always have to be right all the time. i can be wrong and let someone else take the lead sometimes. For what ever they believe in. As it will also help me to accept others for who they are. Cause i am also not perfect and i do make mistakes. and maybe sometimes i love being not perfect

 

Last day Bitch!

26 Oct

i been doing my practical training in a hotel for two months now. which was never really my choice but anyway it was really an experience. So, in a hotel is not really that fun. Politics and position plays a big role. i don’t like it. i got disgrace, look down on and got tortured nicely. well i am done with that place. Made a lot of friends =0 learn a lot of stuff but still i hate working in hotel and also i got poured with i don’t know what the fuck mixture was that on my last day. As it is a tradition in the kitchen life. now my hair smells like seafood

To Let go

7 Oct

To let go of someone is ever really an easy thing to do. Especially someone so dear and near to you. Like everyone else, who have lost someone that meant the world. But sometime we need to let go, of course it is a hard decision to make. Whereby some parts in life you just have to go without that person that was a part of you.

That person was a big part of me. My ex. She was everything i ever wanted in a companion.She was also my first and most precious. She was unique in her own way. We shared beautiful moments together =). Like how she never gets angry at my mistake no matter how bad it was and always forgave me. Backing me up no matter how bad the situation was and just love me for who i am. But i was too dumb to see it though. When she left i WAS really depress for a long time. Even though I’ve got together with how many other people. It was just never the same, never that perfect, never was. I would give anything to have that one moment with her you know. It was like she was trap in my mind or something. I just couldn’t get her out of my fucking mind. So one day i decided i have to say good bye and let go of it no matter what  cause i got my life to carry on and to say the least  i still remember it every now and then. Oh well too bad we weren’t meant for each other.  Chaoo =.=

Nothing that i can’t hold on to with my broken hands

1 Oct

Ok, im fucked.. i freaking sprained both my wrist and my left ankle. I really got to stop doing that and concentrate on my job. Today i’ll be starting my practical training in Villa Danielli. An Italian fine dining restaurant. Fucked and with my injured leg and wrist. Tsk to me my job is important and as long as my hands still can move. I am going to work. So my beloved watch is sent back to head quarters for repair. i mean how can i not live without a watch. The duration is about 10 weeks to get it back. Fuccckkkk =.=

 

=/ Please let me know i am not wasting on you. Cause it bloody hell feels like it

Your Daily Dosage of Love

29 Sep

So, i and 2 other friends have drinking session again. i don’t know how but we always manage to pull it together after a few days of frustration on where to drink. It has become one of our favorite past time. I wonder when i started drinking every fucking off day. Although it is always awesome, adventurous and epic. We even made a name for our gang the 3f ‘s meaning the 3 fucked up. Lifeless, depress and just stoning. After every drinking session or while having a drink we will somehow go to some weird place to have awesome food. Ok some are awesome and some are not. But end of the day we just enjoy each other company and it is all that matters. Just like every bachelor party.

Now back to my life. Life is not treating me pretty well. i have my up and down.  As usual i settle my own problems , deal with my own emotions  and just head on. Fml

The true fact

26 Sep

Ok, so i am finally off pastry.. like hell yeah woohoo.. I am still looking forward to stewarding tomorrow. First of all it is cause I’ve never been in that job and i am off pastry. = D Ok the truth is when i am too tired during my job i always close my eyes for the moments and visualise shouting really loud with all my hair standing inside a pool.  Weird?

The step

25 Sep

Alright so this time i am gonna bitch about my skateboarding. So like finally hell yeah i drop in the ramp. It took me long enough. Even some of the old timer skater were afraid to make the step. But i did it anyway. Well i told myself many times if i was so unhappy about life. and it not exhilarating. Why not make the step at the edge besides i am not afraid to die anyway. but after so many attempts it just never happen. was darn right frustrated.  i even said to myself god please i really wanted to do this and if i don’t do this i will never. The next thing i knew i was putting my head front stepping on it.After that i fell on the ground 5 times in a row. sprained my hand, hurt my elbow and my legs. It hurt, it really hurts. But the important part of it all was i made the step.The step which i took so long,feared and dream about. and finally landed on the ground. i was just damn happy. Well it might not mean a lot to anyone. But to me it just took a lot of guts to do it and it was all worthy. Chao

Random

24 Sep

I have so much to say but you’re so far away. i see you but will you let me, your pain is gone your hand are tight